Don’t listen to other people talk about their insecurities. Just don’t. If they are talking about them with you because they need encouragement, help or direction… that’s another issue, then listen to them and help in the areas that you can. However, if someone is complaining about their insecurities, flaws and imperfections just to complain… don’t listen to them! It’s not healthy.
Recently, someone in my life has been talking about how they want a nose job. I have NEVER thought this person had a large nose, or an odd nose, i never really thought about their nose at all, but they want a smaller nose. They believe their nose is too big for their face. When i first heard this, i thought that they were crazy! I of course know plastic surgery has unfortunately become very normal, but to shave down the bone of your nose just because you feel it’s not “picture perfect” is crazy. I think in some instances plastic surgery may be necessary, like if you are born with an irregular deformity or if you’ve been in an accident that has changed your natural bone structure… but other wise… i don’t like it. Its not natural and it’s not the way God designed for us to live. He created us, our bone structure, our nose, the size of our ears, how far apart our eyes are and he decided we are beautiful that way. And for us to say that HIS work of art isn’t good enough for us, must devistate Him.
What i’m trying to say is, it’s not always safe to listen to others complain about the things they want to fix about themselves. Me, i’m confident, i love myself, i really do and i hate plastic surgery… but after listening to this person talk about getting the “perfect nose” i started to think… “Wow, my nose is kind of big… it’s definitely too big for my face, i can’t believe i never noticed this. My nose is absolutely hideous.” And i had to stop myself! Maybe you’re thinking, “Leah, why did you never notice that? Your nose has always been huge!” or maybe youre thinking “Leah, youre nuts, your nose is fine.” Either way, it doesnt matter what OTHER people are thinking, it only matters what I am thinking, cause I have to live with myself.
I believe in ACCEPTING our “flaws”… if you can even call them that. I think the things our world describes as “flaws” are the things that make us different, unique and beautiful. Changing the outward appearance does not change the inside feeling. You can cut and pull and stretch and inject all you want, but insecurity comes from inside. If you’re not comfortable with who you are now… changing your looks won’t change that.
words kill. words give life. you choose.
Yesterday, one of my best friends in the world posted a blog about an insecurity of hers that barely anyone knew about. This friend of mine, shes amazing. She has never judged me, she’s always been accepting and open, she’s kind and considerate of other people. She trys her hardest everyday to be the person that God created her to be, and it’s truly beautiful being able to see her live her life. When she was younger, a person… a single person, made fun of her for this particular insecurity and from then on she decided to never show or tell anyone about it. Can you beleive that? I can. Because THAT IS HOW POWERFUL WORDS ARE. I am SO sick of people using words as a weapon. I know, i know, i talk about this all the time, but i dont think i could ever talk about it too much. Sometimes we say things and we don’t mean to hurt people, but we do… which is why we need to always think before we speak and ask ourselves if what we are going to say is going to lift someone up or tear someone down. But the worst part is, some people say awful words on purpose, with full intentions to hurt them, they use words as a weapon in their most literal sense. They emotionally and mentally hurt someone… which can change their lives physically.
It took me a while to get to this place in my life, but i got here… and that place is that i realized that not one of us is any better than anyone else. We are all here on this earth, God loves us all and we all have the same choices to make and we all choose differently… so that makes us different, but still equal. People who hurt people on purpose, those people arent at that place i don’t think. Those people either think they are better than someone and want to bring others down so they can stay on “top” or they are insecure and think they are inferior to someone so they bring others down to try to feel better about themselves. Both aren’t right. We are all here on this earth together, so we should get along, uplift each other, encourage each other, pray for one another and genuinely want the best for one another. This world is not a competition, but it is a battle field, can you imagine what the battle field would be like if we were ALL on the same side? What a beautiful thing.
“Words kill, words give life. They’re either poison or fruit… you choose.” - Proverbs 18:21
Are you familiar with Eminem? I’m not going to lie, i enjoy his music but some of the things he sings about are just unnecessary. Anyways, he has a song called “MY WORDS ARE WEAPONS” So if you don’t want to hear about it from me or the Bible… you can hear about it from him. I advise you to not look up the lyrics if you cant handle vulgar and obscene language, the verses of this song make me sick, i only looked at the words to write this blog… but in the chorus he says “My words are weapons, i use them to crush my opponents. My words are weapons, never show no emotion, my words are weapons, i use them to kill whoever steppin to me.” Which basically… proves my point.
DONT BE MEAN! :)
be kind. everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
One of my favorite shows is Friends. I love it. It’s hilarious. But anyways, there is an epsiode in the earlier seaons, first season i think, where Ross makes a pros and cons list of Rachel and why he should or shouldnt be with her. To get to the point, eventually Rachel tells him she doesn’t want to date him anymore because he did that. She says something like “How would you like it if the person you trusted most took the things that you feel insecure about and not only thinks them too but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.”
Basically, don’t be mean to people. Yes, this quote is about two people who wanted to start a relationship, but whether someone is a stranger, a friend, a celebrity, a family member or a significant other, we should not be pointing out their flaws. Imagine the things that you dislike most about yourself… and imagine meeting someone new and them saying “You know what, i don’t really want to be your friend because you have a gap inbetween your teeth.”
We hurt people ALL the time. Why do we feel the need to point out the flaws and imperfections in others but get defensive when others do the same to us? I have always said that i wish we could just all universally agree to be nice to one other and since that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon, atleast those of us who CARE about other people can agree to be nice. People have enough going on in their lives without you attacking who they are and what they look like. Give people a break. Look at their beauty, at their talents, at the good.
Whenever you make fun of another person, point out their flaws and weaknesses or bring up their past… all you are doing is showing others that you are an insecure person who needs to belittle others so that you feel superior and come off as confident. Or you’re just jealous. So which one is it? Why are you mean? Is it because you’re insecure… or because you’re jealous? Think about it. We need to change our attitudes and our hearts. Love others. ACCEPT others. BE KIND.
So many of us let our insecurities get the best of us. We strive to change them so that others will like us, or stop judging us, or so we’ll feel better about ourselves in their eyes. But i don’t think that will ever fix the insecurity, if we’re just fixing it for THEM, so THEY won’t make fun us or make us feel bad about ourselves then i dont think that really fixes anything. It’s not about changing the things about us that we feel insecure about, its about accepting them and realizing that we all have differences and things that make us unique. If we kept changing the parts of ourselves that other people were judging us for and making us feel less than for… we would never stop changing. People will always be able to find something they don’t like about us, that doesn’t mean we need to change, that just means they’re insecure. It’s an awful cycle. The only way we will ever learn to be happy is to accept those things that we can’t change and not let others judgments make us or break us. We are who we are whether they like it or not. The moment you let others opinions become more important than the opinion of Jesus, you are unconsciously deciding to let other people choose who you become. Jesus thinks youre beautiful and talented and special and strong. He believes in you and has faith in you and loves you endlessly. THAT is the opinion that matters because that opinion is truth.