be the change.

BE COOL WITH EVERYONE.

“Bullying’s not cool. And I’ll tell you, in the 2nd grade I tried to fit in with so many people that I was probably the biggest bully in the whole school. But once I got into 3rd, I started to realize what a jerk I was being to kids and what it could do. And then in the 4th, I really started realizing it was gonna hurt someone, so I decided to BE COOL WITH EVERYONE.” - Trey, Age 11

That’s a quote from the documentary, Bully. This documentary has some language and disturbing parts, but the most disturbing part is that it’s REAL LIFE. It shows how some people ACTUALLY get treated and it’s not right. I highly recommend this movie. Even if you’re someone who isn’t a bully, this movie brings verbal and physical abuse into the light so that we can see how some people have to live and what they have to put up with. And even more importantly that just UNDERSTANDING how people are treated, we can begin to be COMPASSIONATE towards ALL people. Everyone has a story and everyone has a struggle.

This young boy who I quoted lost his best friend to suicide after he was bullied repeatedly at school. Why can’t it be this easy for all of us? Trey puts it in the simplest way possible, he just DECIDED to be COOL with everyone. Even if you’re not a bully, chances are there are people you’re not “cool” with. But why? Who are WE to decide who is “deserving” of love and who “deserves” to be treated right?! That’s CRAP! If Jesus only died for the people who “deserved” it… we’d all be HOPELESS! We’re not going to AGREE with EVERYONE ALL the time, but we can ALL agree to put our OPINIONS to the side and simply LOVE others and TREAT them how we want to be treated, even in the middle of our disagreements!

Let’s all make an effort to just… be COOL with EVERYONE! :)

I only partially agree with this. I do believe that if you are extremely selfish, you WILL end up with no one. Because no one wants to be around people like that. As for the first part, yes, perhaps if you’re so EXTREMELY GENEROUS that you give away ALL your possessions, you will literally have nothing. But that only pertains to material things. If you choose to be so generous to do as this says, out of the goodness and kindness of your heart, then I think you’ll eventually end up RICH! RICH with FRIENDS, people who LOVE you, GOOD feelings, LIFE LESSONS, WISDOM, true SATISFACTION, a LIGHT heart and no WORRIES!

I think a balance is necessary, but I also think it is clear which is the more REWARDING choice! :)

(Source: connotativewords)

I didn’t write this, but I wanted to share it. So beautiful

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“this is heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

sandy hook elementary school.

I can’t even begin to imagine how the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting feel. Well, I can BEGIN to imagine and then I almost stop myself because it’s so heavy on my heart. But I try anyway. I try to put myself in their place, I try to imagine losing the most precious thing in my life, I try to find peace amongst the chaos, I try to feel what they’re feeling. And if I’m feeling even a slight percentage of what they’re feeling… then I literally can’t imagine what they’re feeling. I’ve cried multiple times thinking about this. I don’t mean tears rolling down my cheek slowly, I mean sobbing uncontrollably. To try to put yourself in someone else’s place is one of the most difficult acts of empathy, but it is so precious. I know that me, imagining what their feeling, doesn’t help them in reality, but it helps me to see a glimpse of how their feeling and empathize with them and pray for SPECIFIC things and healing in their life. And even though sometimes prayer can seem silly, and make you wonder if it’s actually doing anything at all, the comfort of being ABLE to pray for those who are hurting is enough.

I wrote a blog not too long ago about the Aurora shooting. That one was hard to write. I cried with that one too. I cried a lot. Losing anyone of any age is a difficult thing. But this one does hurt my heart a little more. To think about these children who were so young, so innocent, so PURE. They were vulnerable and accepting. Children are some of the most forgiving people ever. They are dreamers and believers. And to think someone could somehow kill them, is something I can’t understand. Most of the time, I can put myself in that scary place of the one who killed others. I tried to do it with the Aurora shooting, put myself in his place, it helped me to realize how hurt (or maybe mentally ill) that man had to be to want to kill those people he didn’t even know. No amount of hurt or mental illness EXCUSES someone to act that way, I’m NOT defending anyone who commits a crime of this nature AT ALL, but people don’t hurt others senselessly unless they have been hurt themselves. I don’t think people who kill others are monsters. They weren’t born killers, they were born CHILDREN, just like the children of the lives that were lost. I think those who are able to kill innocent people are broken into a million pieces inside, I think over time their hearts have become full of hatred and they’re unable to forgive. I think they hate themselves and their life so much to the point where they want other people to be miserable too. And I can’t imagine hating my life to that kind of extreme. I am a very understanding person, but I can’t quite understand how this man killed 26 people and was fine with it. I can’t understand how he could shoot a child who has done nothing wrong, whose face is full of light and hope. I try to put myself in his place, not because he deserves it but because I want to understand, but this time I can’t.

I try to find forgiveness for this man who chose to do the wrong, selfish thing. I don’t necessarily think we should forgive this man for his sake, he’s gone, he’s not looking for forgiveness anyway. But I don’t think people can ever truly heal if they are still angry. Right now it’s so soon after the tragedy, so of course those affected are going to have mixed emotions of depression, sadness, anger, desperation, confusion… that’s normal. But I pray that someday, whether soon or far in the future, that the families of those who were lost can somehow forgive this man, so that their OWN hearts can heal. I’m not mentioning his name this time, because I don’t think we should remember it. His name shouldn’t be spoken so often that we all know who he is. I would rather name all the victims. I hesitated naming them, because so many are so young, but I feel like they will only be remembered for their LIGHT, which is beautiful! I will send you to a site, it gives details about some of those who died and names the rest of them and their ages.

Read it here

I’ve spent time reading articles about this tragedy, looking at pictures and letting myself feel something. When we hear things like this, it’s so easy to disconnect ourselves. If it doesn’t happen to us personally or in our city, we often don’t let ourselves feel. We feel bad, sure, but we don’t actually let it sink in. I urge you to let it sink in. Try to imagine what it would feel like to drop your child off at school and never see them again. Imagine what it’d be like to hear your sister stood in front of her students being willing to get shot to protect those children. Let yourself feel it! Put yourself there! I am guilty of trying to disconnect too. I don’t watch the news, I hate it, I have no desire to learn about all the horrible things going on this world. If I watched the news daily, I would surely live in depression. But when things like this happen, it affects so many of us, or at least it should. I hear people say they don’t want to read about it or hear about it because it’s too sad, and I understand that completely. But I think sometimes, you need to let yourself experience it. Don’t let yourself forget about this tragedy without feeling it first.

To know that those children are all in heaven, is such a beautiful thing! They are dancing and laughing with Jesus and they are SO happy! They are in a MUCH better place than this world!

Revelation 21:4
”He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Growing up.

I have been wanting to blog about this topic for quite some time but I think I needed some time to calm down, because I was a little too upset about it. Let me start by saying, I have always had some sort of fascination with Christian celebrities. Why? I am a Christian, I love Jesus with my whole heart and I live my life for Him alone. I have also wanted to be an actress for most of my life, not for the fame or the money, but for the joy of doing what I love, acting. I think that fame is a burden that comes with having a job in the entertainment industry, but when people are able to use their fame to GLORIFY GOD and give HIM the credit, I LOVE it! That would explain why I love to hear about Christian celebrities, because I have always dreamt of being one. Not of being a “celebrity” because that doesn’t matter to me in the slightest, but of being an actress and being able to use the position that people in entertainment industry have not to please myself but to CHANGE THE WORLD, to promote LOVE and to have Jesus’ LIGHT SHINE so brightly through me that the only explanation there could possibly be for it, would be a higher power, the God and Savior of the universe, living IN ME!

When I find out someone, anyone, is a Christian and actually lives a life that is pleasing to God and aims to act according to Biblical principles, I am so excited! Especially when it’s a celebrity. Not because they’re “cooler” or “prettier” or “popular” but because they are looked up to by the world. Unfortunately, in our culture we look to the entertainment industry for what to do, how to act, who to be and what the believe! I would love for that to NOT be an unfortunate thing, which is why I love when there is a LIGHT in that industry, a light that is saying “Don’t look at how good I am, look at how GREAT Jesus is!”

Now to the part that is upsetting me. Many people who start out as Christians in the industry, somehow fade out of it. I understand, I do, the atmosphere in Hollywood and in the industry in general will eat you alive. If you don’t EXACTLY who you are and what you stand for before you get into that world, you will lose your morals very quickly. However, somehow I still have so much hope and faith in these Christian celebrities, because I want them to influence the world in the best way possible! In the past couple months I have been learning about these young Christians in the industry, who no longer where their purity rings. Is it necessary to wear a purity ring? Absolutely not! Is it a sin to take it off? I don’t think so, no. The reason this is upsetting is because of the replies they have given when ASKED about those rings. I don’t want to say exactly WHO said this, because I think it’s unnecessary, but I will tell you the quotes that I found from them directly, I even watched a video of one of them, flat out saying these words.

When asked, “Why do you not where you’re purity ring anymore?”
Someone replied “When I was 13 my mom spoke to me about purity and waiting for marriage… At the time I was like ‘Sure, that’s great’ but I can’t say what’s gonna happen a couple months from now. PEOPLE GROW.”

I admire the honesty in the previous quote, I do. EVERYONE makes mistakes, we’re ALL sinners, we all have sinned and will continue to sin. But my problem with this, is that it doesn’t look they this person things no longer staying pure would be a mistake. They apparently think it’s a part of “growing up”… which is really ridiculous to me!

Here’s another quote.

When asked “Do you still wear your purity ring?”
They answered “You know, everyone’s kinda growing up now. It was a decision made a long time ago, I’m a different person now.”

This next one doesn’t have to do with “purity” but is still a proclaimed young Christian celebrity girl.

She was asked “You’re getting older! What is your favorite part of growing up?”
She answered “I guess I would have to say dressing sexier!”

This whole “growing up” thing is driving me crazy! What the heck?! I’m honestly confused. Since when did adult= promiscuous? I didn’t realize the Bible said “P.S. Once you GROW UP, you don’t have to follow what I’ve commanded of you. You’re a grown up, therefore it’s okay if you lose all sense of morals.” Sorry if that’s harsh, but come on! I do NOT judge ANYONE who has sex before marriage. It is a very hard thing to follow through with… it’s not about them not being PURE, it’s about them saying “I grew up” instead of “I made a mistake, thank God for GRACE!” And yes, I understand that’s not a topic you want to talk about anyway in front of the public, but to use GROWING UP as an EXCUSE for LACK of SELF CONTROL, is pathetic. I would admire honesty so much more! I’m not upset that that they broke the promise to themselves, that’s none of my business, it’s that they DECIDED the promise was silly and no longer relevant. It’s not saying “I messed up, I’ll try to learn from this.” It’s saying “I know longer think THIS PART of the Bible is worth following.

I honestly don’t care that people mess up and go back on their word. I sin daily! I am continually working on things in my life. Always! I understand the making mistakes part! I need forgiveness everyday of my life! But if growing up means you completely give into every fleshly desire and no longer have any regard for the spirit, if it means you abandon all understanding and beliefs in morality, if it means going back on your promises to God with no intention of asking forgiveness, if it means that trying to live according to the Bible is childish… I pray I NEVER GROW UP!

**I want everyone to know that I do not claim to know everything about these people who said these quotes. I don’t know their intentions, I don’t even know if they were just misunderstood, I don’t know their heart, all I know is what they said… I am not angry at these people personally, I am just so sad that it is nearly impossible to find genuine Christian role models in the industry. And like I said, of course even the Christians in the industry will make mistakes, because we ALL do, but like I said, the thing that upsets me is that they don’t seem to believe they made a mistake, they believe they simply… grew up.

“Before you put someone in their place, put YOURSELF in THEIR place.”

colorado shooting.

I have been figuring out what i want to say about the shooting in Colorado all day. I’ve read numerous articles on the incident, some from the perspective of policemen, some from the perspective of people who were there and survived and some from the perspective of the family of James Holmes.

Whenever i hear about a tragic incident like this, the first thing i do is put myself in their place. I imagine what it would be life to be one of the people in that theater. To them, the night was like any other, they went out to have some fun at a midnight premiere, but then something went terribly wrong. I imagine being completely confused when someone walks into the theater, stands in front and throws a gas bomb. Then i imagine dropping behind the seats trying to hide while being in complete shock of the gunshots that just went off. Can you imagine it? It’s hard… and any way that i imagine it, it will NEVER compare to actually living it, trust me, i understand that. But i try, i try to think what they were thinking. I try to empathize, which is so much more than sympathy. I imagine people calling people they love, trying to say goodbye. I imagine parents hearing about the shooting and trying to call their children that went to the premiere. I imagine praying… whether it’s someone who prays regularly or prays only when they are in trouble, i imagine people praying, asking for forgiveness and begging for protection. I imagine being completely and utterly terrified.

This is where things get …interesting. This is why i didn’t know if i wanted to write this blog or not. This is the part that will upset some people. I imagine myself as… James. The killer. I imagine having so much pain that the only thing i want is for others to feel pain too. I don’t know pain like that, most of us don’t and even if we did we can of course argue that we are not killers. But neither was he until last night. He was a kid, then he was a high school student, then a college student. He is a boy, with a mother and a father. He has a heart, it may be hardened and it may be numb, but it’s there. And maybe it wasn’t pain that influenced him to do this, maybe it was infact mental illness, like they are claiming. I try to imagine being mentally ill, not even being able to understand whats going on in my own head, let alone around me. Then i imagine walking into that theater with the intention to kill as many people as i can, and i believe that he was terrified, just like the people in the audience. Maybe i’m wrong, maybe he was confident and excited, which is quite disgusting, but i like to think the best, yes, even when it comes to murderers because they are people too. They were a child at one point, with hopes and dreams and joy. Then something happened to them, something i can’t even imagine, whether it was pain or a mental handicap… something happened that made them become almost unhuman, and yet they are still human. I put myself in the place of his mother, wondering how the child i raised could do something like that and being confused. Or maybe she knew he had something wrong in his heart and his mind and then she’s thinking, what could i have done to change him? To make him better?

Please don’t get me wrong, i am not asking for anyone to feel sorry for James. He certainly knew what he was doing was wrong and he chose to do it anyway. But how often do we do that? Probably every day. Yes, killing 12 people and injuring many more is diffferent than stealing something and knowing it’s wrong, because you are affecting so many more people than yourself. But as a believer, i have learned that sin is sin. God forgives ALL sin. Yes, ALL. He abandons no one. If James is in a cell right now praying to God, i promise you God is listening and God is saying “You are more than your mistakes. You have the chance to start again.” Because that’s the God i know, that’s the God i worship. I am 100% NOT defending James Holmes in this case, i think he deserves a punishment for what he did, what that punishment is, thats for another conversation.

I am extremely saddened and heart broken for the families of those who lost loved ones and for all those who are injured and will carry this horrific memory with them for the rest of their lives. When i honestly go to that place in my mind when i put myself in their place, i cry, i cry hard. My prayer is that they will turn to God in this tragedy. That they are somehow able to find peace in the midst of this chaos. And that after time they are able to forgive James for what he did, not because he deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve to HEAL and you can’t heal when you are angry.

I will continue to pray for EVERYONE affected by this tragedy.
I urge you, if you have some money to spare, donate to the families effected by this awful event. The Huffington Post has just opened their website to donations, click here to help Aurora!

Psalm 23
1 Peter 1:6-7
John 14:27
John 14:1-3
Psalm 30:5

what’s right.

There are so many INSPIRING, beautiful and talented people. There are KIND people and generous people and people that think about others more than themselves. There is BEAUTY everywhere. Beauty in nature, in everything God has CREATED. There is beauty if you look for it. There is BEAUTY if you want to find it.

INVEST your energy into looking for GOOD and positive things. Don’t waste time being upset over things that won’t matter tomorrow. Let things go.

If we weren’t so consumed with what’s wrong… we would be able to see EVERYTHING that is RIGHT!

own your differences.

When i was younger, and when i say younger i mean junior high AND high school, i use to lie to fit in. That’s right. I lied. Looking back at it now, I feel like a FOOL. I spent so many years trying to fit into this mold that i saw my friends fitting into, trying to be this person that i thought EVERYONE wanted me to be, trying to become more like SOCIETY to feel ACCEPTED. I still had the same personality i have now, because that’s me and i can’t and won’t change that, i was still the same person i am now, i just would lie occassionally thinking that i would appear to be better or more important than the person i really was.

I am so thankful that i love me now! My prayer is that everyone LOVES who they were created to be! Peer pressure can destroy someone and make them believe they are suppose to be something they’re not. We all have differences and we all have similarities, don’t change WHO YOU ARE to fit the mold. You’re not MEANT to be the mold! You’re meant to STAND OUT! You’re meant to BE YOU! Don’t be embarrassed of the things that set you apart, of your opinions and the things about you that are different, be PROUD of them! Own them! And never made someone feel less than simply because the way they live and who they are isn’t the same as you, because it’s not meant to be.

LOVE YOURSELF. And LOVE OTHERS just the way they are!